Why am i interested in people

You should still be pleasant and polite to that cashier or those colleagues. But it's fine if you just exchange some minimum pleasantries, and aren't compelled to try to speak to them in more depth.

You can still have good, functional relationships with many people even if you aren't highly driven to find out more about them. Some people feel uninterested in others because they don't give them a chance. They've already made up their mind that everyone is boring and don't do anything to prove themselves wrong.

They'll meet someone new and, consciously or not, won't even try to take the conversation in an engaging direction. Instead they'll put up with a few minutes of uninspired small talk, then walk away thinking, "See? Another person I couldn't get interested in. It's a huge cliche, but everyone has something interesting about them if you can find it. Make more of an effort to dig around and try to find those sides of the people you talk to.

Doing this may feel forced, but try to push yourself beyond any tendencies you have to to dismiss people too quickly. Sometimes you'll be surprised how interesting you find someone once you've moved past your first impression of them.

Following this suggestion alone may make you feel a lot more interested in people, but you still need to have realistic expectations. While each person is technically is interesting in some ways, it's impossible to be equally intrigued by everyone. Sometimes you'll chat to someone for an hour, and make an honest effort to uncover their interesting traits, but they still won't do it for you. Maybe if you picked their brain for a full day you'd eventually hit on something, but of course you can't practically do that with everyone.

It's harder to see how people are interesting if you keep getting stuck at the opening level of talking about the news or giving vague updates about how your weekends went. The first step to going beyond small talk is to want to do it, rather than writing off the conversation ahead of time. Beyond having the right intention, there are skills you can use to try to move an interaction in a more meaningful direction: Most importantly, don't be afraid to take charge of the conversation.

If the other person is talking about things that don't interest you, don't passively go along with it then complain to yourself that you find them boring. If they're in the middle of a topic or line of questioning, don't abruptly cut them off. Wait for a natural spot to change the subject, then switch to something you think has more potential to unearth their interesting side e.

You politely answer, then shift to asking about their hobbies, with the eventual plan of finding out which ones they're really passionate about. Ask questions that get people to go deeper into a topic and reveal interesting things about themselves. For example, if they share some standard getting-to-know-you information about where they grew up or what sports they like to play, don't just ask for more surface facts. Follow up with a question that asks about their motivations, worldviews, or unique life experiences e.

Try to give a more original, fleshed out response. It will shift the conversation in a more meaningful direction, which ups the odds of your being able to learn about the other person's interesting side.

For example, they say, "Sure is rainy out. It's about Make an effort to meet people who might interest you more You may feel uninterested in most of the people you meet because you're not hanging around your type of crowd. If your day to day life puts you around classmates and co-workers you don't have a lot in common with, it's only natural you may be lukewarm about them.

If you meet people you're more compatible with you'll probably feel more innate interest in them. Again, if you were to spend a lot of time getting to know those co-workers you could uncover some interesting facets to their personality, but it's all easier when you're around a group you're naturally inclined to click with. If your default routine puts you around people who bore you, go out of your way to find the members of your community who are on your wavelength.

On the link below you'll find a training series focused on how to feel at ease socially, even if you tend to overthink today. It also covers how to avoid awkward silence, attract amazing friends, and why you don't need an "interesting life" to make interesting conversation. Click here to go to the free training. If a stranger tells you about their recent car problems you'll be less likely to be interested or care. You don't know them, so why would you need to hear how one of their brakes isn't working very well?

If your best friend tells you the same thing you're going to be more invested. No, you may not think it's the most engrossing tale to ever reach your ears, but it's happening to your buddy. You want to know what's going on in their life, even the routine stuff. You want things to work out for them. If you're not very interested in the people you see regularly, it could be because you're not close enough. If you get to know them better then you may start feeling less apathetic when they tell you how their vacation was.

You don't need to become deep, intimate friends with everyone, just be a bit closer than you are now. Learn more about them. Speak to them more regularly. If you're an overly self-reliant type then do them the odd favor, or put yourself in a position where you can accept their help and support. Come to see them as being on the same "team" as you.

This is another suggestion you may have to force at first. In the beginning you may think, "Why am I making myself get to know this person at work who does nothing for me? Again, you may not reach a point where you're ultra-absorbed by everything they share, but it could be better than before.

And people often appreciate these small interactions more than you think. We have an inherent desire to want to be social and like others. In fact, psychologists have recently discovered that we often underestimate how much a person will like us when we first meet them.

They are calling it the liking gap. The comforting truth is most people in the world are pro-social: they want to like and be liked. When you are genuinely interested in people, they notice and they appreciate it. They feel like what they think, say, and do matters, and they feel valued and better about themselves because of your attention. And when people feel that you are genuinely interested in them, they will reciprocate that interest and positive energy back to you.

Ask a person for their name, they will often ask for yours. Ask a question, and they will often follow with one of their own. And thus the seeds of a potential relationship are sown and it takes no more than a minute out of your day. This is especially true if you are someone who tends to be more shy, or introverted, or reserved — or just tends to keep to themselves when around others. Start with super small interactions to get your social muscles working.

Today, I aim to maximize every social opportunity to the best of my ability. World globe An icon of the world globe, indicating different international options. Get the Insider App. Click here to learn more. A leading-edge research firm focused on digital transformation. Good Subscriber Account active since Shortcuts.

Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders. It often indicates a user profile. Log out. US Markets Loading H M S In the news.

Shana Lebowitz and Allana Akhtar. Everyone has the potential to be interesting — and boring. Common qualities of extremely boring individuals include poor improv and storytelling skills.

Boring people also tend to lack original opinions. Visit Business Insider's homepage for more stories. Boring people have unbalanced conversations. Boring people can't tell if others are engaged in the conversation.

Boring people can't make others laugh. Boring people never have anything to say in conversations. Boring people always do the same thing. Boring people don't have their own opinions. Boring people don't know how to tell a good story. Boring people don't have anything new to add. Boring people can't see things from other people's perspectives. Boring people don't include anybody in the conversation.

Boring people have poor improv skills. Boring people are constantly negative. Boring people repeat themselves.